ANTONIO NOTICED AND COMMENTED ON MY BREAST GROWTH AND IT MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH THEM. I FELT GUILTY TOUCHING MY BODY BEFORE I HAD TAKEN MY HORMONES FOR THE DAY. IT WAS A NECESSARY PREPARATION FOR SELF INDULGENCE AS SHE. IT WAS A GUILT THAT I ATE DAILY. A DISSONANT AND BITTERSWEET COMBINATION OF FEELING ASHAMED OF MY FREAKISH BEAUTY AND OF MY RELIANCE ON THE MARKERS OF FEMININITY THAT I ONCE WAS DISGUSTED BY. MY ANXIETIES WERE ADDRESSED DIRECTLY BY THE PILLED PROMISE OF LEGITIMATED SELF EXPRESSION. I TOOK MY DOSE, TEASED MY BREASTS AND COULDNT HELP BUT CARRY A LITTLE AND MOAN. I FELT CORRECT