BLUE LIP BLACK WITCH-CUNT

HC Berg - Visual Vortices & Illuminated Lightcells

"YESSSSSS!!!!"

THIS WEEK!!!

#AIMNOSTALIGIA (A PIECE I WROTE FOR ART QUARTERLY)

I WAS ALWAYS TURNED ON BY THE ANONYMITY OF PRIVACY. LIKE MANY, I EXPLORED MY ADOLESCENT SEXUAL CURIOSITY IN AIM CHAT ROOMS, CAT-FISHING FOR THE REPRESSED BABY-BOOMERS WHO NEVER ENJOYED SUCH A LUXURY IN THEIR OWN YOUTH. MY FIRST BLOWJOB AND THE FIRST TIME I WAS FUCKED WERE WITH MADDOG32, A USER WHO I IMAGINED TO BE THE LATE 20s BRUNETTE MAN OF MY OLD NAVY DREAMS WHO, WHEN NOT ‘AWAY’ CONSUMED MY TIME AND ENERGY IN A 200 PIXEL BOX WITH RAINBOW SPECTRUM TEXT. BIT BY BIT I VOLUNTARILY GAVE UP THE PHYSICAL (MEET AT A PARTY) AND SEMI-PHYSICAL (BUY CLOTHES AT A MALL) FOR THE PROTECTIVE VEIL OF 0s and 1s THAT GUARDED THE SCRUTINY-FREE REIGN OF DESIRE AND PRIDE THAT MY SELFHOOD HAD DEVELOPED IN. SOMETIMES I GO BACK TO MY ABANDONED EMAIL ACCOUNTS AND LOOK AT THE ASS PICS I WOULD SEND WHEN WORDS CAME ATTACHED WITH PHOTOS. I JUST WANTED TO LOOK AT THE BODIES OF THOSE WHO MIGHT OTHERWISE NEVER BE COMFORTABLE ENOUGH TO SHOW OR SHARE. 

ITS A BITTERSWEET SORT OF REMINISCENCE, ONE THATS NOW TAINTED WITH THE COLLECTIVE OBSESSION OVER CHILD ACTORS DICK PICS. AS THE OMNIPRESENT PROBE OF GOVERNMENTAL OBSESSION IS EXPOSED, SO TOO IS THE VAGINA OF A BASKETBALL WIFE WHO IS PROVING, OR ATTEMPTING TO PROVE THAT HER PUSSY IS REAL. THE SAME INTERNET THAT I RAN TO AS FERTILE GROUND FOR EXPERIMENTATION IN FETISH IDENTITY HAS GIVEN UP THE SECRETS OF THAT EXPERIMENTATION. EVERY 18-32 YEAR OLD IN THE DEVELOPED WORLD NOW KNOWS THE TRUTH OF THE TRANSSEXUAL EMPIRE ARMING SUPPOSEDLY PSEUDO-WOMEN WITH VAGINAS IN SERVICE TO THE SAME CURIOUS MEN WHO ARE BAITED AND PUBLICLY BROUGHT TO JUSTICE ON TO CATCH A PREDATOR.

WHERE I ONCE GAVE UP THE ORNAMENTS OF LIFE AS ONE ATOM AMONG THE MASSES, I NOW RISK BEING EXPOSED AND POSSESSED BY THE SAME HEARD. THE INHERENT IDOLATRY OF CELEBRITIES IS SOMEHOW AS CENTRAL A FUNCTION AS THE TRAGIC FALL OF THE SAME. BRITNEY SPEARS IS LOCKED IN HER BATHROOM CRYING WHILE SHE SHAVES HER HEAD AND MY EMAIL ACCOUNT HAS BEEN HACKED BY MY FATHER, WHO ONLY NOW DISCOVERED THAT I USED HIS COMPUTER TO TALK TO OUR NEIGHBOR’S CLOSETED FTM DAUGHTER FOR HOURS OF C2C HEDONISM. IF HE DIDN’T FIND IT, SOMEONE IN THE RANK-AND-FILE OF BLOATED BUREAUCRATS FEVERISHLY LOOKING FOR DETAILS OF THE GIRL HE SAW ON THE GPS DATING APP WOULD HAVE. THE PHOTOS ON GAWKER, AND IPHONE SNAPS OF INCONSPICUOUS SUBWAY RIDERS SEEM TO GRANT CERT TO THE ALL AMERICAN PHILOSOPHY OF ‘I HAVE NOTHING TO HIDE, AND THEREFORE HAVE NOTHING TO BE AFRAID OF’ THAT EVERY PUBLIC NEWS DEBATE RESTS ITS CASE ON. 

I THINK ITS LESS THAT ANYONE HAS LESS TO HIDE THAN THAT IF WE ALL POSESS THE POWER TO AND PRODUCT OF EACH OTHERS SHIELDED DESIRE, WEVE GOT EACH OTHER IN A BEAUTIFUL CATCH 22. IF I WAS SAVY ENOUGH, I’D PURCHASE MY SUBSCRIPTION TO MY PORN AND HOOKUP SITES WITH BITCOIN, WHICH TO MY LIMITED KNOWLEDGE MIMICS GOLD AND IN AN ACT OF ALCHEMY OFFERS IT TO A MULTITUDE OF PEER TO PEER ANONYMOUS TRANSACTIONS, MAKING MATERIAL (WELL, SORT OF) THE DREAM I HAD THAT VALUE, IDENTITY AND POWER HAS ONLY AS MUCH AGENCY AS WE BELIEVE OR CHOOSE TO BELIEVE IT DOES  (RE: CATFISH).

MAYBE WHEN I GET MY SURGERY, ASSUMING I DO AT SOME POINT, I CAN FINALLY FEEL LIKE THE WOMAN I AM INSIDE BY POSTING PHOTOS OF THE $32,000 PUSSY GOD GAVE A TALENTED SURGEON IN THAILAND THE ABILITY TO SCULPT FROM  A SCARRED BODY DISTORTED BY YEARS OF DYSPHORIA. IN REALITY, I DOUBT WE CAN EVER CONFIRM OR DENY AGAIN, THE PHOTOS WOULD BE NO MORE A TESTAMENT TO THE TRUTH OF THE MATTER THAN TO THE IMPLOSION OF THE LINK BETWEEN TEMPORALITY, USER-NAME-IN-PHOTO AND TRUTH.

THE ENTIRE VILLAGE OF STEUBENVILLE TURNED ITS EYES ELSEWHERE AS THE TWEETS, PHOTOS, VIDEOS AND STATUSES OF TEEN RAPISTS DID ALL BUT FORCE US TO WITNESS THE TRANSGRESSION AGAIN AS IF THROUGH TIME TRAVEL. BUT YOUTH IS ALWAYS AN EXCUSE, AT LEAST INSOFAR AS WE HOLD ON TO THE FANTASY OF IT AS JUSTIFICATION FOR ACTS MOST OF US WOULD RATHER DISAPPEAR INTO THE CRUEL AND UNDER-EXPOSED WORLD OF YOUTH.

I WORRY THAT MY OLD ACCOUNTS ARE STILL THERE ONLINE, WAITING TO SURFACE AT AN INCONVENIENT MOMENT SHOULD I EVER BE IN THE PUBLIC EYE … AS IF THAT WOULD BE NECESSARY. THE iMOBILE, EVER-PRESENT SHARE-TUMBLE-TWEET-POST-REBLOG SEEMS TO HAVE SUCCESSFULLY KILLED THE FLESH OF IT ALL; THE BODY BEHIND THE IMAGE.

WHAT HAPPENED TO THAT PRECIOUS EPOCH WHEN MEN WERE MEN AND WOMEN WERE WOMEN, THE DRAFT TIED THE POPULATION AT LARGE TO THE GOVERNMENTS WILL, AS AN EXTENSION OR MANIFESTATION OF/AS ITS MATERIALITY AND FLESH.

I STOPPED BEING SURPRISED AFTER THE SCREENCAP. ITS MADE EVERYTHING PERMANENT, EPHEMERALITY A MERE ILLUSION. I’VE TRIED ROMANTICIZING ACTUAL IRL CONVOS AS CONTRABAND, BUT I KNOW THATS A SILLY CONCEPT GIVEN THE CAPABILITIES OF MUSIC ID SOFTWARE. BUT THE TINGLE STILL FEELS GOOD, WHEN MY LOVER TALKS RIGHT AGAINST MY EAR AND THEIR BODY VIBRATIONS TICKLE MY SPINE. 

TO THE DEGREE THAT I’VE ALWAYS BEEN AS NOSEY AS I WAS CURIOUS, THE CULT OF PERSONALITY THAT BIRTHED AMERICAN EXCEPTIONALISM HAS TURNED ON A POPULATION IN WHICH WE ARE EACH OTHERS PERSONALITIES. EACH OF US AN ICON IN OUR OWN RIGHT WITH LEGACIES AND MYTHOLOGIES—AND DIRTY MATERIAL—LINGERING IN BINARY CODES. I NOW FIND MYSELF FIGHTING THE OBSESSIVE DESIRE TO UNVEIL - TO REVEAL THE FALLIBILITY OF THE INFALLIBLE POPULATION OF COWARDLY WITCH-HUNTERS.

THE AMERICAN DREAM THAT SUSTAINED THE FANTASY OF MOBILITY IS HAVING ITS OLD ACCOUNTS AND DRUNKEN TEXTS BROUGHT TO THE PUBLICS ATTENTION. THE UNDERBELLY OF THE PRIVACY IT PROUDLY PROTECTED; CRAIGSLIST, PORN, THE RIGHT TO KILL TRESPASSERS. AS WE SCRUTINIZE EACH THER IN THE FACE OF OUR UNMASKED IMPURITY, WE STAND NAKED IN GLASS BOXES WITNESSING EACH OTHER SCRUTINIZE THE FAT, BONES, BODILY FLUIDS, POCKETED DISHES, AND PHOTOS ON FAULTY HARD-DRIVES. 

IF REAL POWER BEGINS WHERE SECRECY BEGINS, THEN AS WE FRANTICALLY SEARCH FOR DICK PICKS OF JUSTIN BIEBER OR OUR NEXT DOOR NEIGHBOR WHO WERE CONVINCED POSTS THE FACELESS CL AD SEEKING AN ASIAN BOTTOM, WE’RE SEDUCED INTO A BEAUTIFUL DISTRACTION IN WHICH WERE CONVINCED, BY VIRTUE OF OUR VICTORIOUS TOPPLING OF THE LIVES OF OTHERS THAT WE INDEED HAVE NOTHING TO HIDE.

I’VE PERSONALLY NEVER BELIEVED AS MUCH, AS I STILL HAVE TO GET MY TUCK RIGHT EVERY TIME I PISS OR SHIT. YESTERDAY I TRIED TO JUSTIFY THAT NON-BELIEF AND COULDN’T GET PAST THE 4 HOURS IT TOOK ME TO UNDO EVERY ‘AGREE TO TERMS’ I’D COMPLIED WITH IN THE LAST 4 IPHONE APPS I INSTALLED.

ITS A DISGUSTING HYPERTROPHY THATS KILLED MY CURIOSITY, SEXUAL DESIRE AND DESIRE FOR SEX REASSIGNMENT AT THE SAME TIME.

#AIMNOSTALGIA

ACRYLIC EYE GLOSS COVERED IN 6 SCORES OF GREEN MOSS

THAT RUNS A HAPPY TRAIL FROM THE TOP OF MY WIDOWS PEAK

THE ANTBED RUNS DEEP

AND TRACES THE HORIZONTAL CURVES/COLLAR BONE/BEVEL POINTS

OF MY ABDOMEN WHERE THE LIGHTS HITS

CHARTREUSE PINK AND BABY BLUE THREADED RAYS

WEAVE ROM FRLESH TO THE OUTER HEAD

OF THE NETTING ON THE SOLAR GODESS’ LACEFRONT

S/O sixtyforty for making my night